Sunday, October 2, 2011

got bitten

by the bitterbug. 

& I just can't get enough.  
Ill will and my own concedin,' weary of the world it seems 
I'm weary of the world, weary of the world it seems.  

Sort of always come my way
I'm just a little bit of off these days 
Like the hard knocks saw in my life 
like I'm a Bible belt wife 
Like I didn't see it com in', like i didn't walk in and leave 
-Amy Ray 

I hate to even share this post, but I am learning to be more like her
and her & realize its okay to admit our emotions. We share our good so why not show the bad too? That is the true strength of a woman.

I guess when you start losing hope&inspiration & a relationship with the real human beings around you, you rely on that from the unknown blogger.

Yup, got bitten lots this summer. Actually it all started in Spring. One bite spread to another bite and it became like an epidemic of stink bugs {ugh, I may as well add how much I hate those things}.

"Here's what I find about compromise, 
don't do it if it hurts inside 
'Cause either way you're screwed 
Eventually you'll find that you may as well feel good 
You may as well have some pride."

I don't think I would be so bitter if my kids weren't involved.
We are so protective with our children, but I never knew it this way.
Until that one bite just manifested.

You trust your gut, your heart and give that person, moment, event, struggle your all.
You lose a little of yourself in that, but here I sit with summer ending and feel as though so many relationships will never be the same. Actually, it was you, and you, you, and you who took a little of me away. 
Its unfortunate because I have always loved like 4 qualities of mine.
& you stole them from me heart. soul. & I lost; you won. 

"See I never wanna sing again, la, la, la like a butterfly 
Out my wits about me, our my heart in line 
Third time's a charm, this is mine." 

Its sad that I can let so many people in & lose so much. The funny thing is about half the people I am speaking of won't even make it this far reading.  Actually, none of them probably did. {ha}. 
Thanks to you, you and you, I will never ask for another favor, never open up the way I did. & you are slowly losing your own good traits due to your own inability to speak up and address your bitterbug. 

The irony is the people who have made it this far think this post is about them. 
{just waiting to see if I say your name, huh}?
It ain't---your just bittersweet baggage. {big difference}

"Are you my ally or my enemy? 
Do you have self-loathin' or empathy? 
Can you keep me in your prayers? 
Sister, can you keep me in there somewhere? 

And sister, if you ain't got nothin' good to say 
Don't say nothin' at all." 
-Amy Ray


  [bit-er]  Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, noun,verb, adverb
having a harsh, disagreeably acrid taste, like that of aspirin,quinine, wormwood, or aloes.
producing one of the four basic taste sensations; not sour,sweet, or salt.
hard to beargrievous; distressful: a bitter sorrow.
causing pain; piercing; stinging: a bitter chill.
characterized by intense antagonism or hostility: bitter hatred.

I am gunna sing again, just at a different tone. 

1 comment:

  1. Dang my love...nothing worse than a woman's scorn. :)