Saturday, December 17, 2011

SAHM{why it didn't work for me}.

I have put this off for a few months now.
I am trying to remember that this does not make me a failure.
Here it is {unedited} & {maybe a little selfish}.
The TOP 10 reasons being a SAHM
If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t read it.

#10: I like adults…very few, but I do.

I didn't realize how social I was.  Thank goodness, right? I mean, I did spend the majority of my twenties getting a degree in‘social work.' I guess that means I am a little social.  I like asking someone how their day is going, if there is anything they need, etc.  Before I decided to stay home with A&A, I told myself, “I have to continue hanging out with adults & other moms at least weekly."  I didn't do it enough.  As Anderson got older, I had a more difficult time even talking on the phone when A&A were awake.  I missed talking to my mom on my 8:30a drive to work.

#9: I like stuff.

I remember that day like it was yesterday…”Hun, I don't care anymore.  We can get rid of one of the cars, my iPhone, the cable, I won’t buy Avery Swanky OR MJ, I promise.  I just want to be ‘for real’ poor.” Well, I got a little taste of that.  I can’t stay away from nice things though.  I would look around my house and think, “how much do I love that piece of furniture, I could get $50 for that on Craigslist.”Slowly, you run out of things to sell.

#8: I like to smell good.

I think taking a shower is another thing on the‘to-do-list,’ always have.  When you stay at home, it is a royal treat to take a shower.  If you don't set your alarm before your kids get up, that shower will wait until naptime {if you are lucky}.  Most of the time, it would happen after the kids go to bed.  I even tried setting my alarm, but it didn't work.  Mentally knowing that you have‘no where' to be just makes you turn the alarm off. 

#7: I set high expectations.

You cannot set high expectations when you stay at home with your kids. Period. Set your standards low and when big things happen, pat yourself on the back.  Don’t plan your whole day around some amazing educational craft activity and be disappointed when your kid spends 10 minutes on it and would rather play hide&seek.  Seriously? Does she realize I used my 40% Joann's coupon on that ****?

#6: I am not a good teacher.

Oh I tried. So hard, but God has a special place for Preschool teachers.  I even studied homeschooling methods for Big A. I became very intrigued with the Charlotte Mason method and implementing this technique. Bull****. While I completely agree Avery would thrive under this principal, this mama cannot discipline through character. I sounded like a douche-bag and she looked at me like a was crazy. {easier access to take more advantage of me}.

#5: I do better with more on my plate {a variety}.

As much as I like to complain when I am ubberly busy, I do better.  Knowing I have everyday, any day to do laundry, clean the house, etc., honestly I do better when I know I only have a Friday night to do it.  Reflecting back on my childhood, I was always on the go.  It is better for me. Staying busy helps me check things off the list.

#4: I like to poop alone.

However, this does not mean I don’t love my children.  I promise, I love them with all that I am.  Everyone should have the privilege to p**p alone.  Wouldn’t our society be hilarious if we were cooped up in an office all day, then when we spotted a co-worker going to p**p we went along. NO, it wouldn't so why should I have to sacrifice that privacy?

#3: I like to feel {sorta} pretty.

Here is another one,“hun, I promise not to wear sweatpants OR pajama pants everyday.”However, he would come home time after time & I would say, “Ugh, I am sorry I am still in the same clothes I was in last night.”Luckily, I have the kind of husband who would pick me up, kiss me, and say,“you look great to me.” I never felt great though---could just smell my armpits even more.  If you don't have good self-esteem, what your husband thinks does not mean ****. I want my parent's marriage.

#2: I don't like to feed my kids food from a can OR box.

I just don’t.  I may not eat like I should, but I am really, really weird about what my kids eat.  I lay awake in bed sometimes and count how many fruit and vegetable servings my kids had that day.  Don’t get me wrong; I think its okay to give your kiddos mac&cheese and SpaghettiO’s every once in a while.  However, when this becomes more than 3 times in a week, its time to get a job.  One of our biggest responsibilities as parents is to provide our children a variety of healthy foods.

#1: I don't have a village. It takes a village.

It really does.  I am 99.5% sure if I lived close to my mom and/or sisters this lifestyle may have worked.  Don't get me wrong, I am appreciative of my MIL, but she is busy and has many obligations to fulfill with her other granddaughter.  If I lived near my sisters, grandmothers, cousins, etc., I know we would be together at least every other day.  I love my mom's stories about how her and her sisters {my amazing Aunts} would get together and bake all day while us kids would play.  I know I could guarantee on Sunday dinners at my mom's house {one less day to cook, yes please}, grocery shopping alone, and individual children quality time. Those things are important.  They are the“make-it-or-break-it" moments.

So Folks, there you have it.  The honest-to-goodness truth on my personal struggle staying home with my babies.  Do not get me wrong, I don't have any regrets.  I am just lucky enough to get outta it before I do have regrets. 

It might never be the same
We might never live those days
Gone by but we can try

Let's kick the babies out of bed
How 'bout you and me instead
Hangin' on up and gone

Baby hold on
(let's start this over)
Baby hold on
(we're not much older now)

Baby hold on
(if you still see what i see)
Keep holdin' on
Hold on to me’
-Dixie Chicks



  1. Oh boy, I feel the same way! I dislike staying home, it's just not a good fit for me either and there is no reason to feel guilty about it :) When Mama is happy everyone is happy!

  2. I'm laughing and crying all at once! I'm going to try to do this SAHM thing and I certainly have my worries- some of which you highlighted. Glad you shared your perspective.

  3. Just laughed out loud many times. You are an amazing mother, but you have a true gift for helping others. I can remember countless nights talking about us wanting to change the world. You have what it takes and it would be a true disservice if you never again entered the work force again. I wish you the best and know that you will have it all {just like your parents... who rock}!!

    Congrats on the new job!

  4. I completely understand this post - I think it's really honest and I appreciate that. I work half time when my youngest was a baby and I did that right thru till my third child was 4 months. It was the best of both world's - I loved my job and hated to give it up. Like you, I don't have family nearby so paying for daycare for 3 didn't make any sense. I had to quit 2 years ago and desperately miss "working." Good luck to you and your family. I think a happy mom makes the best mom.